The Importance of Setting

The Art of World Building

In speculative fiction, the setting isn’t just a backdrop; it is a living, breathing character that dictates the logic of the entire story. Whether it’s the sprawling, moss-covered ruins of a forgotten kingdom or the sterile, neon-drenched corridors of a deep-space station, the environment provides the essential "rules of engagement" for the reader. 

The Foundation of Internal Logic 

In realism, writers rely on shared experiences. In Fantasy and Science Fiction (SFF), however, the author must build a world from the ground up. This process, often called worldbuilding, establishes the laws of physics, magic, and society. 

• Fantasy: If a mountain is sentient, it changes how a protagonist plans a journey. 
• Sci-Fi: If a planet has triple the gravity of Earth, it changes how characters move, build, and fight. 

Without a well-defined setting, the stakes feel hollow. If the reader doesn't understand the limitations of the world, they won't understand the magnitude of the hero’s triumph. 

Setting as Conflict 

In SFF, the environment is frequently the primary antagonist. In Frank Herbert’s Dune, the desert isn't just where the story happens; it is the source of the conflict, the religion, and the economy. The scarcity of water drives every character's motivation. When the setting is integrated into the plot, it forces characters to make difficult choices. A ship’s failing life-support system in a hard sci-fi novel creates a unique kind of tension that a simple "ticking clock" in a contemporary thriller cannot replicate.

Reflecting Themes and Emotion 

Setting also serves as a visual metaphor for the story's themes. A crumbling, gothic castle in a dark fantasy might represent the decay of an old empire. Conversely, a utopian "solarpunk" city might represent hope and human ingenuity. By carefully crafting the atmosphere—the smells of a Martian market or the bioluminescent glow of an alien forest—writers ground the "impossible" in sensory detail, making the fantastic feel visceral and real. 

The Cultural and Sociopolitical Blueprint 

Beyond the physical landscape, setting in SFF encompasses the invisible architecture of culture, religion, and politics. In a secondary world, the environment dictates how a society evolves. A civilization living in a subterranean cave system will have a vastly different vocabulary, mythology, and social hierarchy than one living on floating islands. When a writer invests in the "macro" setting—the history of a fallen empire or the trade laws of a galactic federation—they provide a sense of verisimilitude. This depth prevents the world from feeling like it was created five minutes before the protagonist walked into the room. It suggests a "lived-in" quality where characters are products of their environment, carrying the biases, traditions, and traumas of their specific geography. 

The "Sense of Wonder" and Aesthetic 

Identity In science fiction and fantasy, the setting often provides the "Sense of Wonder" that defines the genre. This is the "Big Idea" translated into a visual or sensory experience. 

• The Sublime: Seeing a ringed planet fill the sky or witnessing a city built on the back of a giant wandering beast. 
• The Juxtaposition: High-tech cybernetics in a low-life slum (Cyberpunk) or steam-powered airships in a Victorian landscape (Steampunk).

These aesthetic choices aren't just for "cool factor." They establish the tonal contract with the reader. A setting filled with bright, gleaming spires suggests an optimistic "Golden Age" sci-fi tone, whereas a world of endless rain and smog prepares the reader for a noir-inspired deconstruction of corporate greed. 

Ecology as a Narrative Engine 

Modern SFF increasingly uses ecology as a central pillar of setting. No longer is the forest just "the woods"; it is a complex ecosystem with its own predatory cycles and symbiotic relationships. In "Hard" Science Fiction, this might involve calculating orbital mechanics or the chemical composition of an atmosphere to see if a human could actually survive. In Fantasy, this might mean designing a magic system that functions like a natural resource—one that can be depleted, polluted, or fought over. When the setting has its own biological or magical metabolism, it creates organic plot points. The characters don't just move through the world; they are part of its food chain or its energy cycle. 

Why It Matters 

Ultimately, a strong setting facilitates immersion. It allows the reader to step out of their own reality and into a space where the impossible is probable. When the setting is neglected, the story feels like a stage play with cardboard cutouts; when it is prioritized, the world remains in the reader's mind long after the final page is turned. Setting is the anchor that keeps the "balloon" of high-concept ideas from drifting into incoherence. By grounding a story in a specific, tangible place, the author earns the reader's trust. If the reader can smell the ozone of a malfunctioning warp drive or feel the chill of a cursed mountain pass, they will believe in the dragons and the starships.

Flaws - We All Have Them

Character flaws that enhance relatability often mirror real-world human vulnerabilities, making a character feel accessible and "real" to readers. These flaws are typically categorized into minor quirks, major personality obstacles, or tragic "fatal" flaws that drive the plot. 

Common Internal & Emotional Flaws

These are some of the most effective for building reader empathy as they highlight universal internal struggles:

• Insecurity and Self-Doubt: A character who second-guesses their abilities or constantly compares themselves to others.
• Anxiety: Excessive worry or being "paralyzed" by a fear of the unknown.
• Impulsiveness: Acting without considering consequences, which often leads to believable mistakes.
• Perfectionism: An obsessive need for everything to be perfect, which often stems from a fear of failure or judgment.
• Stubbornness: A refusal to change or admit when they are wrong, creating natural friction in relationships. 

Minor Quirks and Behavioral Flaws

Small, everyday imperfections help "ground" a character in reality:

• Clumsiness: Being uncoordinated or accident-prone.
• Absentmindedness: Forgetting small details, misplacing keys, or being frequently late.
• Messiness: A lack of organization in their personal or professional life.
• Poor Social Skills: Being awkward, shy, or struggling to communicate effectively with others. 

Major Narrative Flaws

These traits often serve as the primary internal obstacles the character must overcome for growth:

• Arrogance or Hubris: Overestimating one's own importance or abilities, leading to a "fall".
• Jealousy: A deep-seated fear of losing something or someone, often rooted in past trauma.
• Selfishness: Prioritizing personal desires over the needs of others, which can be redeemed through a character arc.
• Over-independence: Believing they must do everything themselves, which leads to isolation and burnout.

Why Flaws Create Relatability

• Humanity: Perfect characters are often perceived as boring or unrealistic; flaws prove a character is "human".
• Backstory Connection: Flaws are often evidence of past struggles or trauma, providing a reason for the character's behavior.
• Growth Potential: Weaknesses create a "growth arc," allowing readers to root for the character as they attempt to improve.

The Lazy Manifesto: Do Less. Then, Do Even Less.

 “Practice not-doing and everything will fall into place.” - Lao Tzu

How many of us don’t get lazy every now and then? Of course, some of us get lazy more than others — my mom (always a hard worker) once told me she gets lazy, but then she just does the work anyway. I replied, “Mom, that’s not lazy! That’s the opposite of lazy!”

Lazy is often seen as a bad thing, but I disagree. Lazy is an amazing thing.

Here’s just a few reasons why:

1. Lazy means that your body and mind are tired and want to rest. That’s a sign that you should actually rest. When you ignore these signs, that leads to burnout. So rest, and feel good about it!


2. Lazy means you don’t want to work too hard, which often leads to figuring out how to do less work. Just about all of the advances in technology come from laziness: we drive cars instead of walking because we’re too lazy to walk, we use washing machines because we’re too lazy to do it by hand, we use computers because writing things out by hand is hard. Of course, reliance on machines isn’t a good thing, but using laziness to figure out better ways to do things is a good thing.


3. Lazy people don’t start wars. Who wants to go through all the trouble to fight a war? Peace and friendliness is much easier.

“Simple Productivity” has been the motto of Zen Habits from its early days (even though I talk about a lot of other things as well) … and today I’d like to set out the reasons “Do Less” is one of my Four Commandments, and why it’s the ultimate extension of Simple Productivity.

Do Less: The Ultimate Simple Productivity

It may seem paradoxical that Do Less can mean you’re more productive — and if you define “productive” as meaning “get more done” or “do more”, then no, Do Less won’t lead to that kind of productivity.

But if instead you define “productivity” as a means of making the most of your actions, of the time you spend working (or doing anything), of being as effective as possible, then Do Less is the best way to be productive.

Consider: I can work all day in a flurry of frenetic activity, only to get a little done, especially when it comes to lasting achievement. Or I can do just a couple things that take an hour, but those are key actions that will lead to real achievement. In the second example, you did less, but the time you spent counted for more.

Let’s take the example of a blogger: I can write a dozen posts that really say nothing, mean nothing, but take up my entire day … or I can write one post that affects thousands of people, that really reaches to the heart of my readers’ lives, and takes me 1.5 hours to write. I did less, but made my words and time count for more.

If you’re lazy, as I often am, then the choice is simple. Do Less.

But do it smartly: Do Less, but make every action count. Send fewer emails, but make them important. Write fewer words, but make each word essential. Really consider the impact of every action you take, and see if you can eliminate some actions. See if you can achieve a great impact doing less.

This doesn’t mean “less is more”. It means “less is better”.

Do Less: Of Everything

But Do Less means much more than being productive. It goes to the heart of everything we do, of our society. Do Less is nothing less than a two-word manifesto for living.

Here’s how the two-word manifesto of “Do Less” can change everything:

1. Do Less buying. If you spend less, shop less, acquire less, then you will own less, need less, get into less debt, be in better financial shape, have less clutter, and have more time for things that are truly important.

2. Do Less busy-work. Instead of running around doing lots of little things, slow down. Do Less. Live a calmer, more peaceful life. Be content to sit, to do nothing. Relax a little. Smile and be happy.

3. Do Less managing. If you are in a position of authority over others, whether it’s as a manager, executive, or parent … the less you do the better. Many people over-manage, or over-parent. This gives their employees, or children, very little freedom, room for creativity, room to learn on their own, to succeed and fail. The less you do, the more others will figure out how to do things. Do little things to guide and teach, but for the most part, back off and let them be.

4. Do Less communicating. Less talking, less yelling, less arguing, less emails and IM and Twittering, less phone calling. While I think communication is extremely important, and should be one of the keys to any relationship, I also think we do it too much. Especially as most of it becomes nothing but jabbering at each other, with very little actual listening. It is noise. Let silence into your life. Let stillness pervade our minds. When you do communicate, make it count, make it sincere, and more than you talk, listen. Make every email count. Only IM when it’s necessary. Spend less time on the phone and Twitter and Blackberry and iPhone, and more time with humans, more time with yourself, more time in the present.

5. Do Less complaining and criticizing. I won’t rant about how these two things can drag down you and those around you … but instead will say that if you did less of these two things, your life would be better. And we all do them — fess up! I do, and I try to do less of it. Instead, do more kindness, compassion, understanding, accepting, loving.

6. Do Less planning and worrying and future thinking. Spend more time in the moment. We worry too much, and it does us no good. We think about things that haven’t happened, instead of what’s happening now (and yes, I know that’s the name of an old sitcom). And while some planning is necessary, too much of it is a waste of time — there’s no way to predict the future, and trying to control every little thing that’s going to happen is futile. Learn to go with the flow, look for opportunities, find the natural path of things, and do what is needed in the moment. You can’t control outcomes, but if you learn to work more fluidly (instead of rigidly following plans), you can get to outcomes that are good.

7. Do Less judging and expecting. Acceptance is something I’m trying to learn to do more. And that means I need to be less judgmental, and stop having expectations from everything and everybody. If you have no expectations, and don’t judge things, you can accept them. And acceptance leads to peace, leads to happiness. So when you find yourself judging, think “Do Less Judging”. When you find yourself expecting someone to be a certain way, think “Do Less Expectations”. People won’t disappoint you that way, because you’ll learn to accept them as they are, and learn that they are already perfect, as they are.

“Be Content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” - Lao Tzu

How to Do Less

If you are sold on the two-word manifesto — Do Less — you might be saying to yourself, “Self, that sounds good, but how exactly do I go about doing less?” It’s simple:

1. Do Less. Yes, it really is that simple. Do Less. Take how much you usually do, and Do Less than that. If you’re smart, you’ll naturally choose the more essential things to do, but it’s possible that you won’t, and you’ll just choose whatever is easy or convenient or fun. That’s OK. Go with that. Eventually you’ll probably have to do the important stuff, because it probably has to be done sometime. Or maybe you won’t, and you’ll end up getting nothing done. Then you’ll think to yourself, “Self, there has to be a better way. Either I have to go back to doing more, or I have to choose more wisely in what I do.”

2. Then Do Even Less. If you followed the first step, and you’re now doing less than you were before, congratulate yourself! Pat yourself on the back! Celebrate by going to take a nap. Now, when you’re ready to get started again, try to do even less than you were doing in Step 1 above. Pare some of your actions down. Look for more fat to trim. See if some things really aren’t as necessary as you thought they were. Pass some things on to others, automate other things, delay on still others, and get out of doing still others by calling up someone or emailing them and explaining, “I’m sorry, I just can’t do as much as I originally planned.” Now you’re doing less than before!

Repeat. Keep doing less until you’re doing almost nothing. When you’ve reached that point, congratulations! You’re a master. When you can get by with doing nothing at all, you’ve reached Nirvana and enlightenment and you should really be teaching me instead of the other way around. Feel free to come write a guest post for Zen Habits when you’ve reached this state!

Some other ideas to consider when learning to Do Less:

• Go with the flow. Imagine the effort required to swim upstream compared to moving with the flow of a river. If you go with the flow of things, rather than against them, you will naturally do less, and with less effort.


• Don’t force things. A common mistake — trying to hard, forcing something that doesn’t want to be forced, forcing people to do things they don’t want to do. A lot of effort, action, and time is wasted. Instead, find a smoother way — think of water, which flows around things rather than trying to force its way through them.


• Find the pressure points. In martial arts, instead of using maximum force, you are wise to find the points in the body where less force can be used to greater effect, whether that’s to cause pain or imbalance or some other effect. Well, I don’t advocate finding pain, but the idea of pressure points is a good one: if you can find the little spots where a little action can change everything, can go a long way, you have mastered the Do Less philosophy.


• Let others do. Give others the room and freedom to move, to create, to invent, to learn, to work, to do, on their own. Less time, effort and action spent trying to control others means that you do less, but let others make things happen. It means letting go of control, but that’s a good thing. Other people have creativity, imagination, dedication, good ideas too.


• Let things happen. Often our actions interfere with events that would happen without our actions. In other words, if we took no action, things would happen without us. Sometimes it’s better to let things happen. Step back, don’t act, things will happen without us.

“Doing nothing to disturb the spontaneous flow of things.” – Lao Tzu

Get Less Done: Stop Being Productive and Enjoy Yourself

 There’s too much emphasis these days on productivity, on hyper efficiency, on squeezing the most production out of every last minute.

People have forgotten how to relax. How to be lazy. How to enjoy life.

Try this: read some of the best books, magazines and blogs on productivity, and see how many will tell you how to get the most out of the time you spend waiting, how to maximize your energy, how to make use of your commute time, how to make every meeting more effective, how to get more out of your workday, how to crank out more widgets.

People are working longer hours, constantly checking their inboxes, constantly focused on Getting More Done.

But to what end?

Are we producing more in order to make more money for corporations? Or to make more money for ourselves? Or just to hold on to our jobs — jobs we might not like anyway?

It’s possible we’re trying to get more done because we love doing it — and if that’s the case, that’s wonderful. But even then, working long hours and neglecting the rest of life isn’t always the best idea. Sometimes it’s good to Get Less Done, to relax, to breathe.

Let’s take a brief look at how to do that.

The Beauty of Getting Less Done
While working long hours and cranking out a lot of widgets is one way to go, another is to work on important things, to create amazing things, and then to relax.

I’m not saying you should surf the web all day, or take naps all afternoon … but why not? Why not enjoy a lovely nap? Why not take a long lunch and then a siesta? Why not enjoy a good book?

I get people who ask me all the time, “What should I do on those days when I can’t seem to be productive?”

My answer: “Enjoy it!”

Sure, we need to produce sometimes, especially if we have to pay the bills, but an obsession with productivity is unhealthy. When you can’t get yourself to be productive, relax. Let go of the need to be hyperefficient. Stop feeling guilty about enjoying yourself.

But what if you can’t motivate yourself … ever? Sure, that can be a problem. But if you relax, and enjoy yourself, you’ll be happier. And if you work when you get excited, on things you’re excited about, and create amazing things, that’s motivation. Not forcing yourself to work when you don’t want to, on things you don’t want to work on — motivation is doing things you love, when you get excited.

It’s how I work every day. I work on lots of projects, on things I really care about, with people I enjoy working with. (See my guide to becoming self-employed if you’d like to do the same.)

How to Relax
It’s funny that I’d even need a section on this topic — how to relax. It seems like it should be something we all know how to do. After all, aren’t we constantly searching for ways to be less lazy? And doesn’t it logically follow that we already know how to be lazy?

It’s possible you already have mastered the art of relaxing. And if so, congratulations. You are a Get Less Done master. All you need now, perhaps, is to let go of the guilt you might feel, and enjoy this relaxation.

But for those of you who have forgotten how to relax, you’re going to have a tougher time. Here’s a hint: don’t stress out about it. If you don’t know how to relax, it’s OK. Breathe. Take it slowly. One step at a time.

Some steps:

• Take 5 minutes to go outside for a walk. Breathe the fresh air.


• Give yourself more time to do things. More time means less rush.


• After work, get outside, take in nature, run around if you can.


• Play. Play like a child. Play with a child. Play when you work.


• Give yourself a day off. Sleep. Watch TV. Eat bon bons.


• At work, give yourself an hour off. Don’t try to be productive. Just have fun.


• Work with someone who is exciting. Get excited about a project.


• Take evenings off. Seriously, no working in the evenings.


• Get a massage.


• Breathe.

Step by step, learn to relax. Learn that productivity isn’t everything. Creating is great, but you don’t need to fill every second with work. When you do work, get excited, pour yourself into it, work on important, high-impact tasks … and then relax.

Relatable Characters - The Importance

In the vast landscape of fiction, where plots can range from intergalactic wars to quiet domestic dramas, one element remains the anchor of the reader's experience: the character. While a high-concept premise might grab a reader's attention, it is the presence of relatable characters that sustains their engagement over hundreds of pages. In novel writing, relatability is not about creating a character who is "just like" the reader; rather, it is about crafting a persona whose internal logic, vulnerabilities, and desires resonate with the universal human experience.

Developing relatable characters is essential for creating an immersive emotional journey that resonates with readers long after they finish a novel. As of 2026, writing experts emphasize that relatability stems from internal logic, universal human vulnerabilities, and consistent emotional depth rather than mere "likability". 

Core Strategies for Relatability

Layered Motivations: Give characters "surface wants" (e.g., finding a job) and "deeper needs" (e.g., seeking validation or safety).

The "Wound" and the "Lie": Ground characters in a past trauma (the wound) that leads to a false core belief (the lie), such as "I am unlovable".

The "Save the Cat" Principle: Build instant empathy by showing a character using their skills to help someone—or something—vulnerable early in the story.

Everyday Mundanity: Include ordinary situations, such as fumbling with technology or dealing with family holiday stress, to anchor high-concept plots in recognizable reality.

Internal Conflict: Show the tension between a character's internal thoughts and their external actions, highlighting moral dilemmas where every choice has a cost. 

Practical Exercises to Build 3D Characters

Writers often use specific exercises to "flesh out" their characters before drafting:

The "Hot Seat" Interview: Ask your character a series of deep questions, such as "What do you fear most?" or "How would you treat a waiter?" to reveal their voice and mannerisms.

The "Dinner Date": Write a scene of your character at a restaurant. What do they order? How do they handle an awkward conversation?

Two Truths and a Lie: Determine what facts your character would feel safe sharing versus what they would lie about to control how others perceive them.

Character Mirroring: Use secondary characters to reflect or challenge the protagonist's values, such as a warm, empathetic friend serving as an anchor for an aloof hero.

Physical Details as Characterization: Use small physical traits to reflect internal states, like a character who dresses meticulously because they are deeply insecure or a perfectionist. 

Common Mistakes to Avoid

The "Mary Sue/Gary Stu": Avoid perfect characters who never fail or face consequences; readers connect most with those who make believable mistakes and learn from them.

Passive Protagonists: Ensure characters are proactive, making decisions that significantly drive the plot rather than just reacting to it.

Generic Dialogue: Each character should have a unique voice influenced by their background, education, and current emotional state. 

The Bridge of Empathy

The primary function of a relatable character is to serve as a bridge between the reader’s reality and the author’s imagination. When a reader identifies with a character’s struggle, a psychological phenomenon known as "narrative transport" occurs. The reader ceases to be an outside observer and begins to experience the story from the inside. This empathy is what transforms a passive hobby into an immersive emotional journey. Without relatability, even the most explosive action sequences feel hollow, as there is no emotional stake in whether the protagonist succeeds or fails.

Humanity Through Imperfection

The most common mistake in developing characters is the pursuit of perfection. Paradoxically, the more "perfect" a character is—the more heroic, beautiful, or morally infallible—the less relatable they become. True relatability is rooted in flaw and vulnerability.
Readers do not necessarily want to see themselves mirrored exactly; they want to see their struggles validated. A character who grapples with self-doubt, social anxiety, or a temperamental ego feels real because those are the messy hallmarks of the human condition. When a character makes a mistake, the reader feels a pang of recognition. This "flaw" creates a "growth arc," allowing the reader to root for the character’s self-improvement. It is the friction between who a character is and who they wish to be that generates the most compelling narrative momentum.

Universal Emotions in Specific Contexts

Relatability does not require a shared environment. A reader living in 2026 can deeply relate to a 17th-century pirate or a sentient AI in the distant future, provided their emotional core is recognizable. This is the "Universal in the Specific."
While a reader may never have captained a ship or fought a dragon, they know the weight of responsibility, the sting of betrayal, and the yearning for freedom. By grounding fantastical or historical circumstances in familiar emotions—grief, love, jealousy, or the need for belonging—writers make the extraordinary feel accessible. The context provides the entertainment, but the relatable emotion provides the meaning.

Enhancing Narrative Tension

Beyond emotional connection, relatable characters are essential for narrative tension. If a character is an invincible "Mary Sue" or "Gary Stu," the stakes are non-existent because the outcome is never in doubt. Conversely, when a character is relatable, the reader understands their limitations. We know they are afraid; we know they are tired; we know they are risking something they care about. This understanding creates genuine suspense. We worry for them precisely because we recognize their fragility.

Conclusion: The Lasting Impact

Ultimately, the novels that stay with us long after we close the final chapter are those populated by characters who feel like people we have known. Relatable characters turn a story into a lived experience, fostering a sense of connection in an increasingly digital and fragmented world. By focusing on the internal truths of their characters—their secret fears, their quiet hopes, and their inevitable stumbles—authors create more than just a plot; they create a mirror in which the reader can see, and better understand, themselves.

Don't Be a Workaholic

 How can an achievement-motivated workaholic learn to back off, relax, de-stress, and feel good about doing it?

This is a common problem, and one that has several parts we should look at separately:

1. Being achievement-motivated.
2. Being a workaholic.
3. Learning to relax and de-stress.
4. Learning to feel good about it.

Let’s start by saying that there’s nothing inherently wrong with work — it can be fun, exciting, fulfilling, rewarding. I love my work in a way I never did for most of my life, until a few years ago, and work is one thing I live for, that I jump out of bed each morning to do.

However, the reader recognizes that there’s more to life than work, and that relaxing is important, and that stress is a major problem. When work takes over your life and causes problems — with your relationships, health, happiness — then it’s time to step back and figure out a better way.

Each person needs to figure out what that better way is, and I can’t offer one solution to fit all, but here are some thoughts on the four parts of the problem outlined above.

1. Stop being achievement-motivated.
There’s nothing wrong with achievements or being proud of them — it’s a natural thing to feel good about what you’ve accomplished. But it shouldn’t be the only thing that motivates you.

What’s a better motivation? Doing things you love, creating something great, being with people you love, doing things that are exciting.

If your work is something you love, something that excites you, that’s great. You’re better off than most, actually. But there’s gotta be more — what else gives you joy? Do you have hobbies you love? Do you like doing anything outdoors? Do you have family members or friends you love?

Figure out 4-5 things that truly make you happy and excite you — at least one of them should be a person or persons, and one of the others must be non-work-related. You need some balance in your life.

Get excited about these things, and be motivated by your love for them. If you have a spouse and kids, for example, let your life be motivated with the thought of spending time with them.

2. Stop being a workaholic.
What’s a workaholic? Someone who overdoes work — long hours, can’t stop working even at night, obsessed with work, to the detriment of other parts of his life.

If this is you, you might need help — beyond the help I can give you in an article. You might need to reach out to family members, to a therapist, to a group (online or off). There’s no shame in this — sometimes this is what’s needed to conquer an addiction.

But if you aren’t so far gone, you might be able to implement a few steps to stop from working so much.

First, stop working after a certain time — say 5 or 6 p.m. Make this a hard line: tell your office not to call you after this time, and don’t take your work home. Once the clock hits this time, you’re done for the day. The rest can wait until tomorrow.

Second, don’t check email or do other work-related communication after this point. Turn off the Blackberry or iPhone, even turn off the computer at home, and do something else. Also don’t take your mobile devices to non-work events such as vacations, your kids’ activities, family parties and so forth.

Third, schedule other things into your life. Exercise with a friend after work. Make dates with your partner. Take your kid to soccer practice. Set aside time for a beloved hobby. These things will stop you from working.

This should be good to start you out. The other steps are below, but for now, focus on these three things and be firm about them with yourself. No exceptions!

3. Learn to relax and de-stress.
This should be the easiest step (it’s fun, after all) but for many people it isn’t. There are many ways to relax and de-stress, but we’ll just touch on a couple of points.

First, take it in small steps. If you have a hard time relaxing, you don’t need to take a whole week or a month to do it at first (later, you might want to try this). For now, just try it in 10- or 15-minute increments. You’ll get used to it, and be able to do it for much longer.

Second, schedule a physical activity just about every day. This could be walking or running or cycling or swimming or playing basketball or soccer or whatever. As long as you’re doing something, preferably outdoors if weather permits. Again, just start out with 10 or 15 minutes a day. It might take some experimenting to find an activity you enjoy, so feel free to try out different things.

Third, schedule some solitude. This could be 10 minutes of reading alone, or walking quietly, or relaxing with a hot bath, or meditating. You should do it in silence, alone, with no distractions. A peaceful setting is best, without clutter or people knocking on your door. Ask your co-workers (if it’s at work) or family members (if at home) to please help you out and respect this time of solitude. Slowly stretch it from 10 minutes to 15, 20, 30 and so on until you have 45-60 minutes a day.

4. Learn to feel good about it.
This step is hard to comprehend for those who love relaxing, but for those who have a workaholic mindset, feeling good about relaxing can be tough. This takes a change in mindset.

We have to stop thinking that hard work is the only virtuous way. Sure, hard work is good, but so is being lazy, so is relaxing. We need to give ourselves permission to do this, and to feel good about it.

Relaxing and being lazy are necessary to good health and happiness. Our bodies and minds need to recuperate each day and week, and if we don’t have this downtime eventually something will go wrong: we’ll burn out, ruin our relationships, have deteriorating health. So think of it as a necessity, and a good thing.

Do things that are pleasurable. Forget about all the things you have to do and really be in the moment as you do them. Focus on how enjoyable the activity is, and how great you feel. Breathe deeply and feel the tension leaving you.

Give yourself time. It takes time to learn to enjoy relaxing. You’ll adjust, slowly, gradually. But you need to do it, in small steps, and block out negative thoughts and thoughts of work. Let those thoughts go, and focus on what you’re doing now.

This transformation won’t happen overnight, but it can happen. And it’ll be great.

The Temper of Stars

The Temper of Stars is out! Make sure to grab your copy!

The Temper of Stars

In a world where the sun is a dying candle, silence is the ultimate predator. Elara is a smith, her life defined by the rhythmic song of the hammer and the comforting glow of the forge. But when the Great Rift tears the sky asunder, bringing with it a violet frost that turns flesh to stone, the warmth of the hearth is no longer enough. To save her village, Elara must claim the Hollow Iron—a cursed blade that drinks the heat of its wielder to strike back at the cold. As the iron scales creep across her skin and her memories of warmth begin to fade, she must trek into the heart of the "Great Silence" to confront the Grand Architect. She was born to shape metal. Now, she must decide if she is willing to be the fuel that keeps the world from freezing forever.